I am a fish.
You wouldn't think so to look at me, what with the clothes, and the hair on top of my head and all that?
But it's true, I'm a fish.
I'm not sure what type, but I think maybe a cod.
What are you?
My mother grew up in a pinball parlor, but then she dyed her hair purple, learned to fly a plane, and the rest, as they say, is history.
My father, I never knew, except for this one time when he threw a ball and told me to go fetch it.
"Dad," I said. "Am I a dog?"
"Avery," he said. "I apologize."
We haven't spoken a word to each other since.
He's the smartest man in the world, my dad, but you can't tell at all.
I'm having trouble concentrating on this because TicTacs keep hitting the side of my head.


~~~~ An expert from "The Year of The Secret Assignments"